Recovery Network

Over the past couple of months I have been going through a period of heavy stress and long hours and I had been feeling like life was overpowering me.  I feltlike I had lost control of my life.

Just as i was about to let this frustrate me I began to rethink Step 1.  In recognizing my powerlessness again I again realized that I never really had a depth of control over my life. 

I do not have control over the price of gas which crushes my budget as a commuter.  I cannot control when things break around my home that take large amounts of money or time to get fixed.  I cannot control when I get sick when something is going around.  I cannot control how other commuters drive in traffic.  this can go on indefinately. 

The reality I have been rethinking is the reality of the serenity prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.THis is the essence of Step 1.  This is my Step 1 prayer and the serenity is the direct opposite of the stress I had begun to feel as I was sinking into focusing on how miserable it was that I could not change some things.

Powerless but with serenity,

Wade H.

As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.” We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions.   (Alcoholics Anonymous^® pgs 87-88)

To set the stage for today’s entry, I will simply say that I am going through a bad time in my life with a few deaths in my family and friends, some seriously ill family members, my wife and child are both sick, and I have a feeling of just too much going on and I began to sink into a depression. 

Then I thought about what I would tell others in such situations. 

First, all people suffer from periods of  “excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions” at times, but for us who have in the past alleviated such feelings through some form of artificial “escape from reality” these things can often be exaggerated.  Our emotions can be at times an overreaction.  What I am trying to say is that if a stress in our life would normally get 2 units of anger or worry, we experience 10 units of anger or worry and then respond at that level of desperation. 

That all sounds great, but what should one do?  One of the greatest gifts the founding members of Alcoholics Anonymous^® gave us, is FELLOWSHIP.  The popular term to describe such fellowships is “support groups”  There are people within the groups we attend and the circle of those in recovery that are strong and wise that can be of great assistance in the hard times.  The key is that we need to have a deeper more personal relationship with them than simply the sharing we do at meetings and an occasional discussion at the coffee pot.  Simple talks with some friends (preferably those who are wiser and working good programs) in recovery can sometimes be a great help in the hard times.

Practical experience shows that nothing will so much insure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when other activities fail.  (Alcoholics Anonymous^® pg 89)

Intensive work with others in recovery does many things which are of great assistance to each of us in recovery.  One of the keys is the idea of going back to the basics of our own steps and our own program.  The old saying spoken by “old-timers” throughout the world  states:  “You gotta give it away to keep it!”  This is so true.

 As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action. We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day “Thy will be done.” We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions.   (Alcoholics Anonymous^® pgs 87-88)

This is one of the most important things we can do and in reality the first thing to do:  Stop, talk to God, and look and listen for some kind of answer.  The “Big Book” states on page 62 that selfishness and selfishness are the roots of all of our problems.   The Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions book tells us on page 70 that the goal of every step in the program is to gain humility.  It goes on to say, that not only is the gaining of this humility a must for sobriety, but:  “Nearly all A.A.’s have found, too, that unless they develop much more of this precious quality than may be required just for sobriety, they still haven’t much chance of becoming truly happy.”    Key word is happy.

A simple look at this from the bible (the book early A.A.’s used before there was a “Big Book”):

“…GOD IS OPPOSED TO THE PROUD, BUT GIVES GRACE TO THE HUMBLE.”  (James 4:6b NASB)

In other words the same pride described in the “Big Book” as “selfishness, Self-centeredness!” is the key to finding yourself in direct opposition to God.  This passage also states that humility is the key to closeness to God.  “I am no longer running the show, God let your will be done” is our mantra.  With this closeness to God our joy and peace are gifts from Him along with the self-control that will keep us sober.

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…  (Galatians 5:22-23 NASB)

This praying, seeking others that can listen and mentor me in these tough times, and continued work with others are what keep me standing and sober in these periods where emotions threaten to overtake me.  I am far enough in my recovery where the idea of craving seems a thing of the distant past and I do not have any urge to use at all, but the reality is that much stronger people than me have relapsed.  I need to focus on these things when any troubles or discomforts arise.  If I were to wait until I felt a deep craving or realize that I have been having cravings it may be way too late.

Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house.   (Alcoholics Anonymous^® pgs 87-88) 

This has been carrying me through the day and I hope this will be of assistance to all who read this….

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God will constantly disclose more to you and to us.  (Alcoholics Anonymous^® pgs 164)

Wade H

Assuming we are spiritually fit, we can do all sorts of things alcoholics are not supposed to do. People have said we must not go where liquor is served; we must not have it in our homes; we must shun friends who drink; we must avoid moving pictures which show drinking scenes; we must not go into bars; our friends must hide their bottles if we go to their houses; we mustn’t think or be reminded about alcohol at all. Our experience shows that this is not necessarily so.      We meet these conditions every day. An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with his spiritual status.  From the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) pgs 100-101 This outlines what we need to have in order to survive the onslaught of temptation to relapse or to use that often seems to accompany the holiday season.   The truth is that we can make it through the holidays and the events that are associated with them.  To take it a step further, the fact is that we have to be able to make it through this time of year (2 - 3 months) every year or our sobriety is extremely limited at best.  My sobriety is only as strong as it can handle the times of temptation.  If my sobriety can only handle the comfortable times, I have to ask myself what I have and why I don’t have more.  In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure. If the alcoholic tries to shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion than ever. We have tried these methods. These attempts to do the impossible have always failed.      So our rule is not to avoid a place where there is drinking, if we have a legitimate reason for being there.  Big Book pg 101 The key is that there are places where we have to legitimately go where others may be using.  The questions posed in the two passages listed above are: (1)  Do I really have to be there? (2)  Am I spiritually fit enough to be there (i.e. is my recovery strong enough and is my relationship with God strong enough? If a person’s relationship with God is right and that person’s life has been cleaned (thoroughly worked the steps) he or she should be able to make it through such an event, even if there is some discomfort.  Two last quotes from the Big Alcoholics Anonymous book: Burn the idea into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house.  Pg 98 Remind the prospect that his recovery is not dependent upon people. It is dependent upon his relationship with God.  Pgs 99-100 Take courage and decide carefully.  Also be aware that the ability to make it through this season begins with your working of recovery before the season.  You can make it through….  

I hope that all of those viewing this blog and our website find the assistance and information that they need.  I have good news for all of those interested in learning more about recovery and the 12 Step model of recovery.  I have an online “Big Book” study which is done by looking at a small portion of the “Big Book” each week and then discussing it through a series of 5 or so questions on what you have just read.  All that is required is a computer, a Big “Alcoholics Anonymous” Book, an email address (or you can set one up when you join the group through Yahoo) and a few minutes each week.   If you are interested you can join the group at http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/FoundationPrinciples/ or you can email me from at recovery@cityteam.org with the existing email address you wish to use within the group and I will send you an invitation to join.   Otherwise all is good.  I have been traveling and working with the Big Book for a couple of months solid and I am just getting my feet back on the ground…. “Helping others is the foundation stone of your recovery” BB pg 97 Wade H.   

Burn the idea into the conciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone.  The only condition is that he trust in God and clean House.  (Alcoholics Anonymous pg 98)

This is the message of hope that I wish for all of those trapped in alcoholism or for that matter any addiction of any kind to hear and understand.   It is my responsability to pass on this idea or to continue to repeat it until it is burned into your consciousness.

1. You can get well
2. You can get well in spite of anyone
3. To get well you must trust in God
4. To get well you must clean house

These are the things outlined as the foundations of all 12 step programs in the litereature of the first 12 Step program the “Alcoholics Anonymous” book.

 If you are struggling right now, there is hope.  There is a way to get better.  There is a simple process that wil help.  It is simple in format, but not easy to go through.  It is mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually painful to go through recovery, but well worth the struggle to finally get well.

The message I am trying to convey here is that no matter who you are, where you are, or what you have done, there is hope.

 God Bless….

Greetings and blessings I hope that all is well with you and yours.  I’ve been pretty busy with a couple of confrences and such I had to attend and some other rather involved projects that are still going.    I have some great news for those of us in the SF/San Jose Bay area.  Within the next 2 months I am planning to get a meeting started (actually a book study) that will be open to the public.  This meeting will include reading from the big book with discussions on the facts contained within it etc.  These meetings will be the source of the recordings for the podcasts that will be on this site so that there will be weekly postings for the podcast. I am about to do some training in a few sites throughout the country and when on the road will have other readers at the meeting. I am very interested in your recovery questions, if you have any recovery qustions feel free to send them to the recovery network One Day at a Time Wade H.

Greetings and blessings I hope that all is well with you and yours. 

I’ve been pretty busy with a couple of confrences and such I had to attend and some other rather involved projects that are still going.   

I have some great news for those of us in the SF/San Jose Bay area.  Within the next 2 months I am planning to get a meeting started (actually a book study) that will be open to the public.  This meeting will include reading from the big book with discussions on the facts contained within it etc.  These meetings will be the source of the recordings for the podcasts that will be on this site so that there will be weekly postings for the podcast. I am about to do some training in a few sites throughout the country and when on the road will have other readers at the meeting.

I am very interested in your recovery questions, if you have any recovery qustions feel free to send them to the recovery network One Day at a Time

Wade H.

Happy holidays to all. I hope that as you are reading this you are experiencing the joy that we all are supposed to experience during this season. After all the Christmas story is a story of hope, faith, and love.

This season is always a challenge for me and many of those in recovery at all stages of the process. If you are one of the people struggling as you read this, please never give up hope. Like our big “Alcoholics Anonymous” book states, “How dark it is before the dawn!” (BB pg8). And it goes on to say “I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes.” I find it an tremendous thought that a challenging time may simply be the indicator that happiness and peace are soon to come.

One of the biggest keys to our individual survival is that all of us must continue to get together with others like ourselves to support each other and we all must seek to find those in need of the recovery gift we have been given and pass it on. “…nothing will so much ensure immunity from drinking as intensive work with other alcoholics. It works when all other activities fail” (BB pg 89).

I hope to personally be in your circle of recovery friends (if I am not already). Please email me through this website keep in touch throughout this holiday season. I hope we can strengthen each other through this season and beyond.

As far as an update on my recent events; what a couple of months this has been. I have just recently returned from a trip to assist with the rebuilding of the south after 2005’s hurricanes Katrina and Rita. It was tough to see so many still living in trailers with still devastated homes, but thanks to the generosity of people like yourself our organization has been able to send teams of skilled laborers and purchase supplies to assist in the rebuilding of homes and lives in Mississippi and Louisiana.

The holiday season always brings with it great opportunity for service of many sorts. We always like to have events to give to the poor and needy of our communities and this year, as every year, we have had no shortage of opportunities to serve. There has been Thanksgiving food boxes for low-income families, thanksgiving dinners for the homeless, warm winter jacket and clothing giveaways, toy giveaways for underprivileged children and many other awesome events of this nature. I am thankful to have been allowed to participate in such a great means of service and such an awesome tool for maintaining sobriety. I hope that this will become a part of the recovery of many others, especially as a part of the holiday seasons. These selfless acts are a huge part of our ability to keep on the right path throughout the holidays. Remember = “Selfishness – Self-centeredness! That we think is the root of our troubles.” (BB pg 62) Selfless acts are an awesome strengthener.

“We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness.” (BB pg 83) I hope that this Christmas brings the hope and promise of freedom for all of us from addictions and despair as the Christmas story has brought the promise of hope and freedom to the world for the past 2000 years.